Chapter 2 - The Pervert from Another World
The sun was already setting.
Thanks to Twirl’s recognition disruption device, we’d made it back from the scene without anyone noticing—but the real problem was what came next.
“Through the back door … and be quiet about it. Mom’s home.”
Normally I’d waltz right in through the café entrance without a second thought, but today that wasn’t an option.
I circled around to the back of the house and unlocked the door with unnecessary caution.
“Pardoning my intrus—ghack!!”
Aika’s knife-hand strike caught Twirl—who’d transformed into an elementary school boy visiting a friend’s house—square in the solar plexus.
I’d thought her Japanese was fluent, but maybe vague, unclear phrases like “be quiet about it” didn’t register with her.
“Oh, Sou-chan?”
A voice came from the kitchen. Coming in through the back door wouldn’t raise suspicion by itself, but the guilt of bringing home an unknown girl made my body tense up.
“Y-yeah, I’m home!!”
“Auntie, it’s Aika! Excuse me!”
Thanks to her deliberately announcing herself like that, we got the usual “Okay~” in response.
Aika shot me a look and headed toward the kitchen.
Being careful that Mom wouldn’t notice Twirl, we climbed the stairs to my room.
The moment we entered, Twirl started literally saying “fidget fidget” out loud, which worried me, but before long Aika returned with tea and the three of us sat around the table.
Twirl was still restlessly scanning the room.
“…I punched you pretty hard, but you’re still awfully energetic, aren’t you?”
“Heh, laughable. If I got flustered over that, how could I call myself a woman? From now on Souji-sama will pound me with something even more amaaazz…”
Twirl trailed off mid-sentence as Aika reformed her knife-hand.
I glanced once more at the bracelet on my right arm, then spoke seriously to the girl sitting across from me.
“You’re going to explain, right? This power you gave me, and what exactly those perverts are.”
“…I-I’m sorry, this is my first time in a boy’s room… ehehe.”
“And speaking of that, add ‘why the hell I turned into a girl’—explain it clearly and properly!!”
“What should I do… my heart’s pounding so loud you might hear it…”
“She’s not even listening.” Aika cut in with exasperation. We weren’t getting through to her at all.
“…Hmm.”
Twirl stared intently at Aika sitting beside her before letting out a small groan, as if tired. “Aika-san. You must be tired, so please return home and rest.” It was paired with an angelic smile, but I could practically see the “please leave” aura radiating behind it.
A vein in Aika’s temple throbbed, and a chilly atmosphere fell over the room. “Nooo way. I’m listening to this explanation too.”
I couldn’t help but agree. “A-Aika’s involved too. She needs to hear this.” All it did was bring Twirl’s already-thin smile to stiffen. Speaking fast, she retorted:
“I’ll provide Aika-san with a written document later, so please rest well today. And when you’re resting. I encourage you to learn what read the room means~”
“Just shut up and talk!!”
“EeeeEEE you’re contradicting yourselllffff!!”
I hastily seized Aika’s arms before her neck-wringing could turn Twirl into a broken bobblehead. “Calm down, Aika! I’m sure this is Twirl’s way of being considerate.”
“Hehe … Souji-sama sees through everything. I just can’t compete…”
Even though we were indoors, Twirl’s hair sparkled and fluttered in an invisible breeze like the cheesiest kind of light novel CG.
“Hey Souji, you got any implements lying around this room? Like, say, a freshly sharpened axe?”
“Of course not, and if you’re gonna ask for weapons, pick something that’s not lethal!” And maybe something less brute-force?
Twirl cleared her throat with a small cough. “My apologies. I seem to have gotten a bit ahead of myself.”
‘Ahead of yourself with what’, Aika seemed about to ask, but Twirl continued without responding.
“—It can’t be helped … so I’ll explain in order. First, about the Tailgear.”
“Right, that’s the big one. Why the hell did I turn into a girl?” Despite my language, I was too exhausted by now to echo more than confusion.
Twirl pulled out a slip of ‘paper’ from her pocket and unfolded it. The creases disappeared and it smoothly transformed into a massive LCD terminal. Just watching the illumination suddenly supplanted my exhaustion with excitement—why is it all so ridiculously over-the-top?
A full-body diagram of Tailred appeared on the screen’s center. Lines branched out from various parts, filling the display with explanatory text.
Creator: Twirl (B90・W57・H86 — wearer has the right to verify by sight and touch)
【Tailgear】 Anti-Elemerian enhanced armament generated by resonating the wearer’s Elemera with the Twintail Attribute as its core. Enables undefeated mobility not only in ground combat but also in deep sea and outer space. Deployment completes in a mere 10 milliseconds from transformation activation, and during that interval the Photon Cocoon repels all enemy attacks.
【Photon Circle】 Collar component. Deploys the Imagine Chaff recognition disruption field. Also serves as the hub for visual and auditory enhancement, allowing the wearer to perceive and hear events occurring 20 kilometers away.
【Force Ribbön】 Hair ornament-type device. Generates pre-built weaponry on-demand from the wearer’s Elemera.
【Photon Veil】 The ultra-flexible metallic material comprising Tailgear and covering the entire body. Boasts hardness ~80 times diamond while realizing the lightness and ease of movement of ordinary clothing. Absorbs, disassembles, and stores the wearer’s clothes, enabling smooth transformation and release.
【Divine Finger】 Component covering from wrist to fingertips. Amplifies wearer’s grip strength ~2,000-fold; maintains average punch force exceeding 100 tons PSI.
【Divine Legs】 Component covering from below the knee to ankle. Amplifies wearer’s leg strength ~2,000-fold; maintains kick force exceeding 150 tons PSI.
【Tail Brace】 Functions as output stabilization device for Tailgear after transformation. Also linked to the base’s main computer, transmitting operational status with zero 0.001-second lag.
【Elemersion】 Special equipment jointed to the left arm component that draws out the power of Elemera Orbs. The converted power of Elemera Orbs materializes and mounts to various parts of the Tailgear.
【Excelion Boost】 Amplification device deployed at the waist that converges and releases Elemera. Links with materialized armaments to supply power. During full release, prevents backflow so the wearer isn’t injured by the recoil of power raised to its limit.
【Excelion Shorts】
【Photon Absorber】 Protective membrane of mental energy surrounding the Tailgear. Disperses and absorbs even physical impacts equivalent to 90 tons before they reach the Tailgear. Also serves to completely block radiation during combat in outer space.
“…That was way too LONG!”
Just as Twirl finished her gleeful explanation, pointing at various parts of the diagram spread between us, Aika’s iron fist connected. Thwack.
“Hyeeee!!”
I winced. Twirl went tumbling across the floor.
“This is all ridiculous, but—this! A hundred-ton punch force would send buildings flying!”
“Uuuu… w-well, those numbers were all pretty arbitrarily jotted down in the name of maximum chuunibyou coolness … but if you tried, I think they could probably be achieved.”
Twirl got up rubbing her cheek, still smiling. This girl is seriously tough.
Then again, she has instantaneous teleportation. A hundred tons of destructive power isn’t that surprising, I guess.
“What the hell is this ‘Force Ribbön’ thing!? It’s just a ribbon-shaped part—why’d you use a ‘ö’ with the dots?! It’s so freaking annoying!!”
“What are you talking about?! Boys our age absolutely love those dots! They heighten fighting spirit! Of course a bitter virgin who doesn’t know anything about men like Aika-san couldn’t possibly comprehend this!!”
“Wh—wha-wha-what, are you saying you have tons of experience!?”
“How rude. Of course I’m a virgin. Don’t lump me in with a slut like you, Aika-san.”
Aika hoisted Twirl onto her back and locked her with some spectacularly spine-cracking submission hold I’d never seen before.
Over the shriek of pain, my eyes drifted back to the diagram. Pain aside, Twirl’s absolutely right. I leaned closer to the diagram. What a magnificent array of settings. Just looking at them makes me want to grin. “Still, looking at this again, it really is incredible.” If everything’s been multiplied by hundreds or thousands like this, I might break through the atmosphere just from running.
My finger traced down to the blank section. “Twirl, the Excelion Shorts section is blank. Does it have some kind of function? This part here that’s … right where the … panties would be…”
Her voice cracked up from under the submission press. “Well, b-basically if the battle drags on and you need to use the bathroom, it rapidly absorbs it, breaks it down, and disperses it into the atmosphere … but I hesitated to write it down since it would ruin the chuunibyou vibe…”
I shouldn’t have asked.
I should’ve just noted the panties & left it a question mark.
In my mind, this section will remain forever blank.
“Wait—hold on!” I jerked my head up from the diagram. “The Tailgear’s mechanics are fine and all, but what about my body?! Why the hell do I turn into a girl? Explain that first!”
Aika had just let go of Twirl, and she took the opportunity to spring up with a smile. “Huh, you want me to teach you about a girl’s body..? Ehehe, I see. I was prepared for this. The moment I followed an excited man back to his house after battle, somewhere deep in my heart I must have known this would—”
Crack. “Talk now or I’m seriously gonna stop holding back!!”
“My elbow’s range of motion is increeeasing!!”
Aika went straight for the arm break; those slender arms about to shatter between her grip.
…so she was holding back until now! Watching these vicious joint locks, I’m convinced Aika doesn’t need Tailgear. (And neither do the rest of us need her to have it.)
“Fine! The reason you become a little girl when you put on the Tailgear is—” she springs to her feet, arms akimbo “—because I’m into little girls! You got a problem with that?!”
“Whaaat, she just straight-up admitted it!?”
“Besides, a young girl’s appearance lets you catch them off guard while drawing their attention. It’s the best style for fighting those guys.”
“There’s such a thing as a polite lie in this world, you know, Twirl.” If she’d just given me the second explanation and shut up, I could have accepted it. Why did she have to lead with being a lolicon?
“Fine, I get it. I can’t say I’m happy about it, but… if there’s a tactical reason, then I guess I have no choice.”
“Right? Little girls are so cute!!”
That’s a scary look. I’m starting to think that’s the main reason… but I’m too frightened to ask any further.
“So.” I glanced between them. “I’m also curious about those monsters, but … could you tell me about yourself first, Twirl?”
“Yes, I’ve been waiting for this!! Please, examine every inch of me!!”
Twirl began elegantly casting off her lab coat. Aika’s body blow connected.
“Tendon!” She writhed in agony with an incomprehensible groan. It’s like a comedy routine; they’re already in perfect sync.
“I-I’m … not a person of this world … I came from another world.”
…No wonder. I thought communication was difficult, but she’s not from a foreign country—she’s from another world.
The wall between worlds is seriously thick.
“However, please don’t misunderstand. When I say another world, it’s more like a parallel world … not all that different from this one. The names are different, but in terms of this world, I’m Japanese.”
“You are?!” Aika and I spoke in unison. I can’t imagine what “not all that different” means.
“First, let me explain about what those monsters are seeking… the power of the heart called Elemera.”
“Worlds” don’t exist in units of planets or universes. They exist as infinite parallel versions.
Adjacent to each other, separated by a single door. Like spaces on a backgammon board.
Normally you don’t know other worlds exist. Inter-world travel is impossible for humanity—we can barely manage a trip to the moon and back.
But very rarely, some worlds develop literally otherworldly scientific power.
Elemera is the power of the heart, born in such a world.
Securing energy became an issue. So they developed technology to repurpose the power of the human heart as energy.
Just like electricity. Fossil fuels. Minerals.
The heart generates infinite possibilities.
Elemera. The core of the Tailgear. The unknown energy those monsters are after.
It exists in human thought and preferences. In absolutely everything. Infinitely.
Preferences, occupations, physical characteristics, areas of expertise… people can have multiple.
Twirl finished up. “Today’s monsters were shouting things like ‘find the twintails’ and ‘capture the young girl with the doll,’ right? That’s exactly what they meant.”
The perverts’ wild celebration flashes back through my mind. I grimaced.
“The so-called Twintail Attribute. The fact that a person has twintails. And the love and attachment toward them. These condensed as spiritual energy. Elemera is the foundation of everyone’s heart—their refuge and the root of their vitality. If you lose it… for example, if you lose the Twintail Attribute, that person will never be able to wear twintails again for the rest of their life.”
“For their whole life??”
“Yes. Even if they try to tie them, they can’t. The lost attribute leaves an emptiness that controls them forever.”
So if I’d screwed up, those girls would never be able to wear twintails again even if they wanted to.
My stomach dropped.
“S-such absurdity could actually happen…” Aika murmured, touching her own hair as if to protect it.
“Just from liking twintails, you can have so much power?!”
“Spiritual power is enormous energy that surpasses any fuel or chemical energy. Even when exercising, there’s a huge difference in efficiency between doing it half-heartedly versus with concentration, right? That’s because you’re converting spiritual power into propulsive force.”
“That’s true. ‘Polishing the heart is the supreme training’ is what my grandfather used to say.”
“Yeah.” Come to think of it, those exact words of his had sprung into mind during my battle today.
Except that she’s totally ignoring that wisdom.
“…Aika-san, do you happen to practice martial arts?”
“Yeah, my grandfather was a martial artist.”
Twirl hummed. “I see … … then I might need to carry a firearm to protect myself.”
“Fine by me. That way I can go all out without holding back.”
“…”
“…”
Twirl didn’t move. I want to cry.
“A-anyway. Even with all the training and discipline in the world, regular humans can only manage mental concentration at best… but this is about what comes after that. When you increase conversion efficiency and make it materialize, it becomes an energy source beyond any existing power generation. That’s why the Tailgear can be the ultimate weapon.”
Twirl dropped her gaze to my right arm.
“The stone you retrieved after the battle, Souji-sama.”
The pale green stone, the one emitting a mysterious light? Maybe because I willed it, the stone popped out from my bracelet and floated into my palm.
Though clearly inorganic, I could feel a subtle heartbeat, as if it held life.
“That’s a crystallized form of Elemera, called an Elemera Orb.”
“Alright, but why twintails and stuff? I get that spiritual power is strong, but there should be other things that matter, right? Family, love, friendship?”
“Those may seem powerful, but family love is natural instinct for any intelligent lifeform—a given for the species. That’s just the soil of the spirit. Life itself, not propulsive force. Within that, what did you devote yourself to? What captivated you, and what did you use to captivate others? That’s the power of individual spirit.”
“Staking your life on twintails…” Aika threw an exasparated half-lidded stare my way.
“What, you got a problem with that?! I was actually strong, wasn’t I?!”
“Exactly. The Twintail Attribute is one of the most powerful attributes among all Elemera. That’s why I used that power to complete the battle suit. The name Tailgear is a play on ‘imaginary tail’ and ’twintail.’”
“…you’re kidding, twintails are the strongest…?!” My heart soared.
“Imposing-sounding attributes aren’t necessarily the strongest. There are other attributes that seem ridiculous at first, yet turn out remarkably powerful.”
My life hasn’t been a mistake. I’ve been living for this very day.
“The Tailgear is a weapon built with the Twintail Attribute as its core. Therefore, only those with powerful Twintail Attribute can wear it. Normally, a male who would never wear twintails himself shouldn’t have such power… but the person with the strongest Twintail Attribute in this whole world is … you, Souji-sama—”
“—I was the chosen one!!”
“Yes, you’re the chosen one!” Twirl laughed along with my excitement. “… um, by the way, I’m getting tired of explaining, so shall we turn off the lights?” Her fingers suddenly started crawling along the floor toward my thigh, just before the meaty thump of a monthly shounen swatting a spider rang out.
“Ow!”
Twirl blew on her fingers while Aika restored the book to the pile adjacent to her.
“So those monsters are after Elemera. Did they come from another world too?”
Twirl winced. “Yes. They are—”
Wham! A tapir-like monster slammed its hand on the table.
“Lizard Guildy was defeated?! By a human?!”
“Impossible! That’s absurd!!” The shouts rang through a vast gothic hallway of dull grey metal.
“Saying he just let his guard down doesn’t explain it—what’s going on?!”
A round table ripped straight out of a corporate conference room sat in the center of Ultimeguil’s meeting room, surrounded by monsters of diverse and bizarre forms. Outside the mothership’s huge reinforced windows rippled the electric purple field of a space beyond space—a gap in the world beyond human perception large enough to store an entire colony ship.
Lizard Guildy had departed cheerfully as raid captain … and wound up defeated in less than a day along with dozens of Ultiroids.
“So what’s the meaning of this? Our preliminary scouts concluded this world was the ideal—low technological achievement, but unprecedentedly high Attribute levels! Wasn’t that their assessment?!”
Roars of all size rose from all sides; a furor descended.
“They were meant to be easy to crack!” “Just another prey world!”
Elemerian, noun:
- Taxonomic clade of parasitic living Elemera.
- Soldier of Ultimeguil, a cross-dimensional order of nomadic warriors.
So had Twirl laid it out: a mobile army of locusts, preying on the hearts of Men, ripping out their soul energy wherever they could find leverage, expanding in scope by the year. Spiritual idealism left to fester, until it turned to its own ends & by natural selection grew the will to live.
“SILENCE!”
A dragon-like monster crushed the uproar with a single shout. The hall fell silent.
“…c-captain Dragon Guildy.”
Dragon Guildy did not have to move to radiate fighting spirit. His every breath carried the energy of Achilles & his chariot.
“I, his master, knew Lizard Guildy’s strength well. This can only mean a powerful warrior existed in secret.”
“…a warrior…”
“Behold. Though he was defeated, an Ultiroid with recorded footage managed to transmit this.”
The enormous monitor on one end of the chamber awoke with a hum, displaying a still image of a shocked twintailed girl in sleek red & white, cast against a blue Honshu sky.
"…uooooooooh…" Awed admiring murmurs rose in unison.
“So this is the one that took Lizard Guildy’s life … but with twintails like that, it’s understandable.”
“Such beauty … such g-grace … th-this is this world’s guardian!!”
“It can only be described as divine coincidence. Technological and other civilizational matters observable beforehand are merely surface-level matters. One or two isolated warriors who transcend their contemporaries—there’s nothing strange about it. We’ve encountered them before, haven’t we?”
“…but every powerful enemy thus far has fallen to our hands—” The monitor suddenly split into six panels, each disengaging from the others and moving independently to separate while displaying new photographs of the armor-clad girl. A riotous clattering rang out as the gathered beasts leapt to their feet.
“—what in black history is this?”
Every panel carried a shot from a different angle. Each moved tauntingly, panning across her swaying twintails and body like a choreographed figure review.
“Hoh.”
“Mmm.”
“…oh my, this is…”
“Above all, for this young one … formidible power and fate-like destiny coexist within. Not merely twintails, not merely a young girl—I sense profound mysteries.” Dragon Guildy crossed his arms and raised the corners of his mouth in a growling smile as cold, bold lizard eyes scanned the screens.
“So then, what shall we do? Tuck tail in fear and depart for another world?”
As the words hung on a silent chamber, those same eyes surveyed the gathered group.
They all smiled fearlessly, fangs and teeth on show.
“What are you saying? Flee to some mediocre world when presented with twintails like that?!”
“Heh… it seems I’ve found my place to die.”
“Then nothing changes. We’ll claim this world’s Elemera along with those twintails!!”
“Oooooooo!!” The uproarious howls and beating of chests filled the hall.
“—A pleasant miscalculation this was. A warrior’s blood stirs when confronted by formidable foes! HahaHAHAHAHA!!”
A hearty and utterly maddened laughter now joined the troops’ growing chants and roars.
“Destroyed?! Twirl’s world was?!”
“Everyone in my world had their Elemera stolen by Ultimeguil. From a bird’s eye view, nothing would seem changed for now, but … it’s a lonely world of only inorganic, spiritless people with nothing to live for. There’s no invasion more quiet or cruel.” She sighed.
“In worlds where Elemera technology isn’t established, they’re demons beyond Man’s comprehension. There’s no way to fight back. And as you initially thought, when it’s phrased the way it is, the harm of the extraction is difficult for the average person to grasp. When the world’s full strength should have been mobilized, we hesitated.” Twirl twiddled her thumbs. “No-one wants to die for their love of lipstick.”
“…Twirl…”
As the totality of the problem became clear, the last of Aika’s optimism faded into a hung head.
But I was still in shock. People wouldn’t care? People wouldn’t fight for it?
“…it’s true. Nobody would seriously mobilize worldwide countermeasures against monsters spouting such ridiculous things.” Aika brushed her own twintails as she spoke, still contemplating the issue.
“Fortunately, at least in a twisted sense, I was victimized early—so I started reverse-engineering their technology before Ultimeguil got serious about Elemera theft. That’s why I didn’t have all my own Elemera stolen, but…”
She couldn’t save her world.
Aika unexpectedly perked up. “You’re a researcher, Twirl? Analyzing technology that doesn’t even exist in your world yet—you must be incredibly smart. …even though you look about our age.”
“My age is a secret.” Twirl put a finger to her lips and winked.
Aika’s brows fell to a furious furrow. A look of disbelief crossed my face just the same.
Twirl put a hand to her chest. “L-Let’s save the detailed instructions for using the Tailgear and future plans for tomorrow onward … let’s call it a day for now…” Incidentally and undeterred, she immediately pivoted to me, and manage to speak “Souji-sama, please rub my che—” before a vigorous slap from Aika cut her off.
“…yeah, sounds good. The first part.”
I still had too many questions, but there was no sense in keeping two chemicals who shouldn’t share a shelf in the same room (my room) any longer.
Besides, I was getting the feeling that if the conversation dragged on, Twirl might not have much life left in her.
Even despite the slap, Aika tightened her lips and spoke up.
“Um… sorry. For splashing you with tea. That was going too far.”
“Oh, it’s fine. I’m more durable than the average human anyways. Although, I do think everything else you’ve subjected me to thus far has been awfully life-threatening!”
“I said I’m sorry!!”
… is that durability in the physical sense?
Despite all her bluster about revenge, watching the way she spoke and acted, I don’t think I could see an ounce of determination in her … or tragedy, for that matter. Just a straightforward, plain voice delivering borderline-boring exposition. If she was deliberately acting unaffected, either she’s got a crazy resilient psyche, or…
“Umm…” Twirl rubbed her hands together in front of her thighs, sending me a flustered look.
“Hm?”
“So then, Souji-sama. In order to back you up in battle, I’d like to stay close to you from now on. For efficiency’s sake, sleeping and eating together would be … um, the important part is the sleeping part of ‘sleeping and eating’…”
Either shyness or self-preservation crept over Twirl enough for her to slip a hand over her mouth, since Aika was looming off to her side with eyes like daggers.
“Sleeping and eating… you mean, at my place?”
“Yes. A place to sleep is all I need, so could you lend me a room?”
“Eeehh??”
“Evenifyousay there’s no room, then even the toilet is fine … haah, haah..!”
That would be an entirely different class of problem—and for some reason, Twirl’s breathing had grown ragged..?
“Well … it’s just me and my mom at home, and we have spare rooms, so that’s fine, but … wouldn’t Aika’s place work better? I mean, for you girls to be together, right?” Aika’s parents are currently overseas. She lives with just her older sister. If her sister’s okay with it, that’d be better … right?
“Nonono, boy-girl is better … I mean, various circumstances.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Aika doesn’t normally splash people with tea, you know?”
“Of course not! What kind of barbarian do you think I am?!”
I tried very hard to not look at her.
“But I need to support Souji-sama, so it’s more efficient for me to live here. Ultimeguil’s assassins are going to keep coming, you know?”
Assassins? “Uuuhh, but…” I couldn’t answer right away. First off, how was I supposed to explain this to Mom?
“…mom’s kind of childish in some ways … I’m worried that if she finds out about this, she’ll make a gigantic mess out of it.” Between the happy-go-lucky way she runs the café and everything else in our lives, I don’t think I’d trust Mom with anything bigger than a lunch box and happy vibes. If I told her she was taking in a girl, she wouldn’t scold me, but … she’d never stop teasing me. Oh, God. I could already see every branch of every future action she’d take…
Twirl smiled. “The base construction is also urgent.”
“A base—” Aika blinked. “What??”
Come to think of it, wasn’t there something about that in the Tailgear specs?
“Given the enemy’s scale, the support system for Souji-sama must be perfect. Launch assistance, combat monitoring, various maintenance tasks… Since it’ll also serve as a research lab, the base will need to be fairly large.”
The gears in my head started grinding. “I see.” After even one battle, the necessity of support was so obvious I couldn’t deny it if I wanted to.
“So I’d like to dig out space beneath your house. The ground composition here is more suitable too.”
“What?! Dig space underground!? Will my house be okay if an earthquake hits?”
Aika stammered. “I mean, the ground—my house is right next door!”
Our houses were practically connected!
Twirl laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ll have it finished tonight.”
“That makes me even less confident! What kind of rush job is that?!” Aika abruptly lurched, as if making and then halting a lunge for Twirl’s neck. “My house isn’t going to sink into the ground with yours, is it?!”
Twirl gently shook her head and smiled. “Oh, if Aika-san lived alone, I wouldn’t hesitate to bury your entire house … but I can’t cause trouble for your family.”
The crack of Twirl’s face failing to ram itself through the floorboards was almost as alarming as the grip Aika had on the back of her head.
“JUST BURY YOURSELF, COME ON, BURY YOURSELF!”
I shifted a few inches away and waited for the hold to end before speaking up.
“… Twirl. First, I’ll try to convince my mom somehow … so help me think of a good reason for us living together. And make absolutely sure nothing about the Tailgear or Ultimeguil gets out.”
Twirl sprung up and tapped her chest with confidence. “Leave it to me! I can come up with any number of lies like that. I am Twirl of Seek Time = Zero.”
What the hell does that even mean?
“Don’t be proud! And stop making your tits jiggle!”
Aika glared at Twirl’s rack with anger better reserved for mortal enemies. I shook my head in confusion; I hadn’t even noticed.
“Okay! How about this? I’m an exchange student from abroad who came to Souji-sama’s school, a classmate—”
“I see, the homestay angle.”
“Nonono, the setup is that Souji-sama tricked me and kidnapped me to confine me when I was anxious and frightened in an unfamiliar land! See, this way it makes sense that I’d be digging underground trying desperately to escape!”
After a pregnant pause, Twirl took a straight punch to the liver and fell over with a meek “eep.”
I got up. “…I’ll go convince her by myself.”
“Yeah. That’s better. Go before this one wakes up.”
It’s not like I hadn’t fought Aika before, but watching this was just painful. It’s a different story when it’s some gorgeous alien girl being thrashed with moves I’d only seen done on training dummies and movie stunt doubles.
I stepped out into the hallway and let out a big breath.
I’d never told my parents—well, Mom, at least—a lie this big before. This was … a new kind of nervousness. The homestay angle was probably the safest bet, but the question was how well I could explain it. I’ve never practiced lying, and I’m terrible at improvising an alibi…
After a few seconds of staring, I sighed, and muttered a pledge. “I’ll just hide what needs hiding and tell as much truth as possible…”
I turned to head downstairs, and saw Mom leaning against the wall next to my door with her arms crossed and her smile wide.
“I heard everything.”
“DON’T EVESDROP—!!!!!”
“Oh my~”
I grabbed Mom’s arm and pulled her downstairs.
“What do you think your son’s privacy is?!”
“You brought home a girl other than Aika-chan, so I thought it must be developing into an interesting situation!”
As I yanked her into the living room, I pressed my hands to my forehead and groaned. I’d been totally busted the moment we came in through the back door. I should have been way more cautious about Mom after we got home.
“…how much did you hear?! What did you hear?!”
“I heard a girl scream several times. Ufufu. Someone getting rough with her~”
Oh no, she heard almost everything. Uh, at least the girl next door did all of it.
“So, that incident on the news—you kids resolved it?” Her grin thratened to split her face.
“Why can you believe that so readily!?”
Mom looked up at the ceiling and let out a breath she had been saving. “So the day has finally come…” A deathly seriousness settled over her face, and my heart skipped a beat.
Did she..?
“…Don’t tell me you knew all along, Mom…?! That I’d be chosen as the Tailgear’s wearer?!”
Back to the grin. “Nope, didn’t know at all.”
“Why say something so suggestive then?! And you weren’t listening at all!!”
“Elemera is spiritual energy that Ultimeguil’s Elemerians are targeting to invade this world, and Sou~chan fights them wearing a suit called Tailgear, right?”
“SO YOU WERE LISTENING IN, AAAAAHHH!”
A thin line of drool seeped from her mouth as an enraptured expression brought her to stare up at the heavens. “It was my dream~, you see.” Her smile turned dumber. “You see, Mom is someone who grew into adulthood with her chuunibyou~ still raging. I spent my days dreaming of becoming a heroine who protects the world, and though that dream never came true and I became a mother of one … I entrusted all of it through the umbilical cord to you.”
“What were you doing to your unborn child!!”
“And … your late father, too, you know, was…” She smiled a bit wider. “…also a terminal chuunibyou patient.”
I fixed my open jaw. “That’s not worth dragging out dramatically.” My eyes were burning for all the wrong reasons.
“We fell head over heels for each other and threw our chuunibyou together with reckless abandon. Your father so desperately longed to be a hero. He meticulously crafted settings for when he became a hero, telling me all about them … thoughand eventually, he even went on about situations where he’d power up and whatnot~”
If it weren’t for the ringing pain in my skull from the damage she was doing to my image of Dad, I might have been able to moan out more than a weak “God—Mom!”
“But the situation Mom wanted most was falling in love with an enemy organization’s boy after first being enemies~” She giggled. “However, Dad dreamed of the exact opposite situation. Honestly, we repeatedly almost broke up over who should fall in love first.”
The idea of smashing Dad’s family altar portrait flashed into mind. I mean, I knew Mom was loopy, but to think Dad…
…Twirl’s loli-warrior-bracelet almost seemed normal now. I lurched toward the wall as my legs nearly gave out.
“So in the winter of our junior year of college, even when Mom made the heart-wrenching compromise of let’s make it a boy and girl who were at odds among their own comrades but were drawn to each other, your father stubbornly insisted to the end that it had to be a ♪ forbidden romance ♪ with a female enemy executive (wearing swimsuit-like protectors). So as we argued back and forth in the bedroom, our relationship seemed finished … but just when we were beginning to accept that … Sou-chan…”
I want to die.
“…it was then that we learned you were in Mom’s belly.”
I’m probably dead already, and this is Hell.
“After that, the two of us got along like a miracle! Hehe, a child is the nail to drive a marriage, they say.”
More like a nail to drive through my head.
Mom tapped her cheek. “There’s one more important thing. It’s a good opportunity, so I’ll tell you.”
Oh no. “H-Huh?”
“Hey, Sou-chan … why do you think you’re named Souji 「総二」 with the character for second 「二」 even though you’re the eldest son?” A deep nostalgic sadness welled in her eyes.
…I’d wondered about that a few times, but why bring it up now?
“…ah…! Did I have an older brother or sister who was supposed to be born?!”
Mom shook her head.
“Nope. It was a shared sentiment between Dad and I! Ahh, good old second-year middle school was the most fun. Nostalgia for those bygone chuuni days was the only reason~”
“YOU COULD’VE TAKEN THAT STORY TO THE GRAVE WITH YOU!!” I practically screamed. “A normal kid who’s stuck hearing this ridiculous garbage back-to-back is gonna be insane by tomorrow!!”
“Actually, we wanted to make it cooler! Like Meteor or Ultimato. That was also a compromise where we picked a character we both liked in the end~”
“N-No thanks, I’m good with Souji.” Holy shit. I could have been named Godzilla by these idiots. I’d almost shared a name with Ultimeguil. My knees finally gave out, and I slumped onto the couch.
Wait, maybe my (twintail) insanity really was inherited.
Creak—the sound of floorboards squeaking made me jump.
“Um, may I?”
“Wait … Twirl, not yet!”
Twirl was peeking into the living room, her body half-hidden by the door. She’d already recovered??
Mom laughed and turned to glance at her. “Fufu, I heard everything, Twirl-chan.”
Twirl smiled innocently. “Actually, I was listening in on you two, too.”
I stared from the couch, not even turning my neck so much as glaring out of one corner of my exhausted burning eyes. I couldn’t even muster a reaction anymore.
Had she heard my hilarious origin story? It’s triple Hell. No, quintuple Hell.
“Mother … I already told Souji-sama, but I want to live here.” Twirl stated her desire with utmost confidence.
“Of course, I have no reason to refuse.”
What??
Twirl nodded and continued. “And if possible, I’d like to build a research lab beneath this house to use as a backup base.”
“Go right ahead! Hundreds of kilometers underground if you want. A secret base sounds exciting! Let me see it sometimes~”
“Of course!”
I couldn’t do more than mutter a flat “What.” from the couch.
“Also, Mother, I was hoping you could say ‘Oh dear, we don’t have a spare futon, I know, why don’t you sleep in Souji’s bed together!’ It’d be so incredibly useful for my plans.”
“Why are you saying that in front of me?!” The energy was starting to come back, this time as horror. I surged up onto my feet.
“…Twirl-chan, you’re good. You’re really good! Someone like you coming from another world makes me so happy!! Think of this as your own home! … but, oh dear, we don’t have a spare futon, I know, why don’t you sleep in Souji’s bed together!!” Her fists clasped together at her chest, though I could only see her back and happy tip-toe stand from this angle.
I sat down again slowly.
There was a dangerous aura spilling off the two of them. A heated, energized phenomenon—a reactor gone critical. Mom, too, it seemed, was a practicioner of Seek Time = Zero … whatever that meant. I had never seen anyone so perfectly mirror her ridiculous behavior and body language before.
Oh God, what do I do. Can I cry openly without shame for once? Is this enough of a reason??
Mom struck her palm with an affirmative fist. “So! Twirl-chan can absolutely live here. Think of it as your own home, including Sou-chan’s room, and don’t hesitate to use it.”
“Thank you, Mother-in-law. I’ll think of Souji-sama’s room as my own home and live accordingly.”
I wonder if this is what Eminent Domain feels like. They have to be fucking with me. They’re joking. If I react, I lose. Obviously. So just don’t move. They’ll give up.
“…Fufu, but in return, make sure you turn Sou-chan into a man someday.”
“How formal, Mother-in-law. Why not ‘tonight’ instead of ‘someday’?”
“Twirl-chan…!!”
“Mother-in-law!!” The two squealed and embraced tightly.
Suddenly, Aika came barreling down the stairs. Don-don-don-don-don—“Wait, Miharu-obaa-san, come over here!” Seizing hold of Mom, she pulled her off to the side towards a spare room.
“Oh my, I’m so popular.”
“And you,” she thrust a finger at Twirl in passing, “stop adding ‘in-law’ on your own!”
“How did you know!?”
SLAM.
…
A quiet look out of the corner of my eye at Twirl, standing stiff in the middle of the room.
Can’t cry alone to myself quite yet.
Miharu sat down on one of the sun room’s benches as Aika closed the door again, content in Souji’s not-being-immediately-molested-by-Twirl. One quick spin then brought her around to point a finger at her neighbor’s mother.
“Miharu-obaasan! Think this through! If you let a woman like that move in, Souji’s chastity is clearly in danger!!”
“Haah, isn’t that exactly what we want? A beautiful girl suddenly moves in and things get sexy—that’s the dream I pictured back then! I don’t care if Souji gets pushed down.”
“You call yourself a parent?!”
Miharu threw a testing look, one eyebrow raised. “But wanting your son to get a girlfriend is normal parental sentiment, isn’t it?”
“…w-well, that might be true, but…”
Aika pressed her fingers together, fidgeting.
Miharu smiled warmly. “Or could it be that Aika-chan…?”
Aika frantically waved her hands. “Nonono, I’m just … as an old friend, I’m … just worried about Souji, that’s all…”
“Hmm, if that girl hadn’t appeared, I would have liked to watch over you a bit longer.”
“Wh-what are you saying?”
“Twirl-chan has good eyes. The eyes of a shameless woman who’s eager to devour a virgin.”
“Is that how you talk about a guest!?”
“She’s not a guest … Twirl-chan is already a proper member of the family!”
Whoosh—the door opened and Twirl entered with glittering eyes.
“Mother-in-law…!”
Miharu and Twirl grasped each other’s hands, pulling each other’s gaze into an eye-to-eye telepathic sync.
“Huh, why’s this turning into a touching moment??”
“For the record, Mother-in-law, I’m not shameless. I’m devoted completely and entirely to Souji-sama.”
Aika picked her jaw off the ground. “Deny the first part too!!”
Miharu nodded. “That’s right. Losing all restraint for just one man is a woman’s proper romance~”
Aika, too, was struck by a fierce migraine like Souji’s. She stumbled backwards, hand pressed tightly to her throbbing, disbelieving temple.
She’s joking around like this, but…
Suspicious eyes rolled up to watch Twirl spinning around hand-in-hand with Miharu.
…she glossed over a lot of important details. How did she get the Twintail Attribute that’s the core of the Tailgear in a world where all the Elemera had been harvested..?
Her mind went back to Souji’s … appearance. Bizarrely unprepared armor with a prominently exposed face. And yet, this girl is covering hers. It’s just a mask. She didn’t care at all about her world. Flat intonation, no emotion..? What the hell … is she hiding?
As she was leaving the house, Aika pressed the point insistently.
“Souji. Starting tonight, lock your door when you sleep.”
I didn’t need a reason, but I felt like asking anyways. “Why?”
“Just because! If you don’t, I’m welding it shut from the outside!!”
…yeah, Aika, you try and see what happens when you weld wood.
I gave her a nod, but …
Mohyon.
Memepoppo, puryon.
Kyopah. Kyopah.
Ryoromuminminminmoheh…
“…………….”
Having a hole dug under the house wasn’t particularly worrying at this point.
If an ordinary man took a look at the way the Tokyo subway network sprawled out across the region, I bet it’d look like magic to him.
But to someone who could transit worlds, work floating screens like paper, and build weapons like the Tailgear … she could deal with cave-ins. She wouldn’t strike a Tokyo gas line. Worrying about things like that was just silly.
But what the hell were the noises? I can’t even put them into text; it looks like a string of typos.
From a distant metallic shaft, a muffled voice rang up that should absolutely not have been so audible as it was.
“Whoops, that was close. Almost drilled through to the planet’s core…”
Hm.
I rolled over with a groan and threw my pillow over my head. If I died tonight, it didn’t matter. Don’t think about it, don’t think about it. Be drowned in a veil of dreams.
…
The ticking of the clock had become deafening.
…was it over? Did she delve too greedily, and melt in the mantle?
My covers fell aside as I slipped out of my covers and sat up in bed. My eyes carried none of the burden of exhaustion—if only from sheer adrenaline—so I reached over to open the curtains by my bed.
In spite of the city-glow, the serenity of the glittering stars twinkled above.
I guess it’s uncharacteristically poetic to be thinking like this, but … that girl really was like falling stardust—
Two bloodshot eyes suddenly peeked over the rooftop, facing directly at me.
“AAAAHHH!”
“AAAUUAAAH!”
I tumbled off my bed in shock. She nearly fell off the rooftop.
“Hawawaaah, Souji-sama…!”
“What are you doing, Twirl?!”
I scrambled back onto the bed and slid the window open just as she fell onto the shingles below, quickly pulling her inside.
“M-my apologies,” she laughed, now sprawled over me. “I must have dozed off during work … I was sleepwalking on the roof before I knew it, and the moment I snapped to awareness I accidentally slipped and fell!”
Why does she smell like peaches?
“Uh. If that’s true, I need to seriously reconsider how I associate with you.”
The white-haired woman suddenly surged over me with a hungry look in her eyes. “No no no, any way you want to associate is fine! Strength, direction, duration—anything, however, from wherever!!”
Oh, well, then I’d desperately like to associate at greater distance, please.
Slam. “Ne, Souji, what was that?! I heard a huge noise . . . . . .” Aika in her light blue pajamas was leaning out of her window, alarm plastered across her face.
You know, I always considered it convenient that Aika’s bedroom was but a short hop across a small rooftop gap away.
Twirl, straddling me and looming clear-as-day from the window’s view, stared back with the stunned eyes of a doe on the road.
“…Ah.”
“…what … are you DOING??”
Like a four-legged beast, Aika leapt ferociously across the roof and into my room with a dynamic entrance, slamming Twirl off me and onto the floor with sheer momentum alone.
“AUAUAHH! IT’S NORMALLY THE GUYS WHO GET BEATEN IN THE ROM-COMS, ISN’T IT?!”
Yeah, but did they ever deserve it?
Well, did I deserve a fight in my bedroom at this hour? Aika’s fists were melting into blurry afterimages at this point, and I couldn’t tell if it was speed or sleepiness.
“What’s with these boobs! So annoying! So annoying!!”
“It’s okay, I was really SMALL long ago too!! But then—OW—in twoorthreeyears I became normal-sized—anyway, could you please st—OP soon or I’ll die~!”
“You called that normal-sized?! You’re not even no-NORMAL-sized!!” Her voice cracked on the last syllable, though she didn’t seem to notice. “Even though you’re from another world, you’re still HUMAN!”
I put up a hand. “…hey.”
They kept fighting.
I gave up on everything and pulled the covers up.
Yougetsu Academy canceled first period and assembled all students in the gymnasium. Naturally, it was about yesterday’s incident.
The vast solemn space was dominated by silence. Nobody saw fit to so much as yawn, which contributed to the eeriness.
The only thing to break that deathly quiet atmosphere was the clicking footsteps of Student Council President Shindou Erina ascending the platform.
There, standing before the podium, she surveyed the students, taking them all into her field of vision.
Everyone fell silent, waiting for her to speak.
Behind her, rows of maids stood guard as if to ape the Secret Service.
Finally, Erina spoke in a clear voice. “Thank you for your attendance, everyone. As you know, yesterday, mysterious monsters rampaged through our city, creating an unprecedented crisis.”
Definitely unprecedented. Who’d ever heard of an army of lizardmen targeting … twintails? Really, that was more shocking than aliens alone.
“Actually, I myself was present at the scene, and I was one of those targeted.”
“What…!”
“No way!”
The students began murmuring. When fury welled up, they couldn’t suppress it.
Her twintails swayed with her characteristic gestures, raising my spirits.
“Unforgivable!!”
“I’ll defeat them even if it costs me my life!!”
“Hey, strap dynamite to my body now! Shut up, right now!!”
The students had started shouting as if it were their own affair—or, no, with even more fury than that. The flame of rage spread like a lit fuse, threatening to turn two thousand young people into a mob in the blink of an eye.
What is this?
…if this is the school culture, you all could have laughed off my slip-up on the first day..!
Though, with the council president as the target, the indignation was understandable.
“I am deeply moved by your righteous anger. Being able to grieve for others is a wonderful thing. Especially for someone as immature as a leader as myself.”
She was, of course, standing on a platform to reach the podium … and even then, on tip-toe. It really brought to mind a little girl trying her hardest to stretch to write on a blackboard.
That kind of spirit was a good source of adoration for well-trained dogs … er, students.
“However, I was not the only one targeted. There are likely several among you as well. And if we look outside the school, many additional women nearly fell victim to the invaders’ fangs.”
They began murmuring again, but she quickly interrupted with a strong “However.”
“I stand here safely now. There isn’t much information on TV yet, but many of you probably learned from the internet. At that scene, appearing as refreshingly as the wind…” Her tone grew subtly sweeter. “I was saved by a warrior of justice ♪”
…a warrior of justice?
A cold chill ran down my spine.
“—That young girl stole my heart!!”
Uooooooooooh! Cheers erupted.
“We were waiting for you to say that, President!!”
“Thank goodness … I was honestly feeling guilty about panting over little girls! But if the president says so, I have no more reservations!!”
“No, that’s wrong … You pant while feeling guilty!!”
“A small president admiring a small warrior of justice … is this providence!? I’ve just learned the truth of the world!!”
Worrying declarations about Japan’s—no, Earth’s—future flew one after another.
Wait, does this mean the president likes me?! No wait, but what she likes is Tail Red … a little girl … huh?
“Behold!”
When the president raised her right hand, one of the maids promptly put up an image upon a screen beside her.
Uooooooh————!!"
“Oahhh————!!”
I felt quite the opposite. “NO!”
My transformed form was plastered across the screen.
A perfect angle. And there were photos like this all over the internet?!
“NNnnhhhh..!!”
I … I was mad, but … magnificent twintails..! I couldn’t help but stare breathlessly.
Displayed beside the president herself, it was a soul-stirringly spectacular sight.
Like a temple’s guardian statues, the two bunches of hair resonated with a fundamental harmony.
“The Shindou family has decided to fully support this hero! Everyone, please join me in cheering on the savior of this new era!!”
The cheers doubled, then tripled in volume.
The heated gaze and roar of the crowds, all thrown recklessly at the president and … my twintails.
E-everyone’s looking at them.
I shouldn’t be beating my own chest. I punched myself in the cheek.
The president’s mother, who was also a Yougetsu Academy board member, and the entire Shindou family had decided to support me.
The president’s adorers were already showing their unanimous agreement. Thunderous, uproarous support—and yet I couldn’t enjoy an ounce of it, equal mixture flustered and horrified. What sick monkey’s paw saw fit to force this fate, and burden me with the karma of becoming a little girl?
Classes started, and yet somehow not a word of the lessons entered my skull. Every inch of whispered gossip was about me—about Tail Red.
My stomach churned to pass the time.
At lunch, Aika came to my desk carrying her wrapped lunch box.
“Ne, Souji, after school today…”
I pulled her in and spoke quietly, so the others wouldn’t hear. “Ah, sorry. I promised to go straight home after school today to hear about using the Tailgear. I need to see the base too.”
“Continuing from yesterday?”
“It’s just learning how to use it, so you don’t need to come today, Aika.”
“…Alone with Twirl?”
“There’s nobody else.”
Don’t tell me she wants Mom included from the start too..?
“—M-Me too!!”
Aika slammed her mag bottle onto the desk.
“I’m … going to listen too.”
“. . . . . . yes, ma’am.”
You try saying no to that presence.
Today was the first day of regular classes. New friendships hadn’t formed enough for lunch yet, so most students eating lunch or in the cafeteria were with middle school acquaintances.
Aika had quite a few friends from middle school, but I didn’t have a single one.
I was really grateful she kept me company at lunch like always.
Right. Honestly, we’re always together like this … so as long as she’s willing, I’d have her stick with me to the end.
“Whoa, I haven’t seen this photo yet!!”
I glanced at the group of guys cheerfully clustered by the window corner seats, all staring intently at one guy’s tablet.
Then, one of them decided to murder me.
“Decided! Starting today, I’m Tail Red-tan’s big brother!!”
“PBBBHGHHUUHH!”
I abruptly choked on my fruit au lait and spat it out.
“Ne, Souji, don’t spray my face! Uwah, it’s all sticky…”
“S-Sorry … I just…”
The nearby girls had started giggling.
Even from a distance, that crimson little girl was clearly visible—Tail Red was on screen, apparently cycling through a slideshow of images.
I dropped my head into my hands. “They’re spreading like crazy on the internet..!”
“When we get home, let’s shake down Twirl and make her delete the online files. She should be able to do it, given her tech.”
“Maybe someday try using methods that aren’t violence!”
While we were whispering, the guys were heating themselves up into an even worse frenzy.
“So cute! So cute! So cute!!”
A revulsive shudder ran through me. Mass support was one thing, but seeing these guys brought it to dawn on me what that actually consisted of.
“God, I thought I liked big boobs, but … now I’ve awakened.”
Awakened to what?
“Hehehe, wielding a sword and being so cute … I wanna get cut up too!”
Yeah, I wouldn’t mind cutting you to ribbons, either.
“Ahh, I can’t take it anymore!!”
The tablet’s owner (whose name I still hadn’t bothered learning) couldn’t contain himself and pursed his lips, moving in towards the screen as if to kiss my—
“AAAUGHH!”
I reflexively seized Aika’s mag bottle and hurled it at my classmate, hitting him moments before the kiss.
“Ow! …what the hell, Mitsuka?!”
I stood up and pointed at him. “You should be ashamed, doing that to such a little girl!!”
“Yeah, I’ve accepted my shame! And here I stand!”
I was speechless. What the hell do you even say to that? I tore at my hair.
Wait, and this guy remembered my name, too. Damn it…
“…haha. Come to think of it, on the first day you wanted to make a Twintail Club, didn’t you? ‘Cus you just adore them so much!” He laughed and thrust a returning point at me. “You want to monopolize Tail Red-tan!”
“That’s wroooOOOONNNG!!”
“I’m exhausted…”
At least school was finally over … though by the time Aika and I left, my fatigue had peaked.
The walkway from the entrance to the school gates was packed with upperclassmen enthusiastically recruiting new students to their clubs.
Nobody called out to me.
“Come to think of it, the Twintail Club thing fell through after all … what should I do about clubs..?”
I pondered quietly as we walked.
Aika hummed. “You’re not fighting every single day, so just pick a club you like.”
She had a point.
“But I need that mindset. They could show up again today.”
She laughed. “No way. Not immediately after yesterday…”
We smiled wryly at each other and turned the corner, when—
“Hear us, all humanity dwelling in this world! We are Ultimeguil, the chosen disciples of God from another like it!”
“……”
“……”
We simultaneously dropped our bags.
A massive holographic screen floated in the sky.
“We mean you no harm! We merely desire the power of your hearts! Resistance is futile! And if you do not resist, we guarantee your lives!”
A dragon-like monster sat arrogantly in a throne with his legs crossed, making its proclamation.
It was as irritating as it was stunning.
“However, it seems there are those who would oppose us. For them, I declare again: Resistance is futile! Yet, if you dare defy us … we shall gladly accept your challenge! Come at us with everything you have!!”
“They’re broadcasting this worldwide!?”
Beyond the flat window floating in the sky, audio could be heard echoing from houses throughout the suburb.
I pulled out my phone and activated the TV tuner—sure enough, the same footage played no matter which channel I switched to.
What the hell, they’re hijacking all broadcast signals? How can they pull off something so absurd..?
“Are they seriously planning to invade the entire planet?!”
And declaring they’d accept any resistance with such leisure??
If they had examined all of our militaristic and scientific might, and came to that conclusion with such confidence … just how powerful was Ultimeguil..?
Suddenly, Twirl’s words about ‘destroying many worlds’ took on leaden weight.
My legs went weak.
Their plan wasn’t annihilation. It was a quiet conquest of the heart’s passions.
Give us your heart, and you can keep “living.” Who would die for that?
Yesterday’s “battle” was just a skirmish, and now the real invasion was starting.
Globally.
What the hell could I alone do about that?
The projection above boomed again.
“Fwahaha—I am Turtle Guildy! As Dragon Guildy-sama says, resistance is futile! The radiant brilliance of youth … I shall claim the Gym Shorts Elemera!”
A turtle-like monster had thrust its way onto the screen and was puffing itself up with absurdist declarations. One of the other monsters, visibly hesitating, approached from behind and whispered something in its ear.
“…what? They scarcely exist in this world now?! Curse you, you foolish men, you walk your own path to ruin aaaAAAHHHH!!!”
The monster’s scream echoed across the urban sprawl. Neither I nor Aika nor the nearby pedestrians could do more than stare slack-jawed.
It was one thing to say that hairstyles could carry such power (of course they could), but … all-but-extinct gym clothing?
These were depths I didn’t wish to probe. What the hell was Elemera, really? Suddenly, I wanted to see the faces of those bloomer-obsessives. Just once, just so I could believe it.
The bracelet buzzed with Twirl’s voice maybe half a minute after the broadcast ended, startling Aika and I out of our stupor.
“Souji-sama, did you see that just now?!”
“Yeah?”
“There’s a high school in the neighboring town that’s under attack!”
“What? Why??”
“Well, um.” She hesitated. “The students’ dress code still included old 1990s-era gym bloomers.”
I looked at Aika. She was just as speechless.
I’ll do it.
Just like I love twintails, there must be people who love gym shorts beyond measure, right? When they’re already nearing extinction, I can’t let invaders plunder them…
I handed my bag to Aika.
“…T-Tail On.”
The activation word—the phrase we has decided on between conversations yesterday—still embarrassed me. The transformation rippled over my body in an instant.
Let’s … go and crush this ludicrously petty “global invasion.”
“Welcome home, Souji-samaaan~♪”
When I opened my bedroom door, dizzying pink lighting assaulted my eyes. My bed had been remodeled into one with a canopy, and Twirl wiggled out in a negligee to greet me.
“Hey, you slut.”
“…Huh, Aika-san!? Why are you here? You said just Souji-sama, you broke your promise!!”
“I’d never make any kinda promise with you ever in all ETERNITY!” Aika struck one of the canopy’s bedposts with a round kick and CRACK, bringing it straight down on top of Twirl.
Freshly dressed up, and then immediately destroyed. What a terrible fate.
(Wait, am I at risk of that?)
“…Uauaah, how cruel! This is too much!! I waited over an hour in this outfit after the battle ended and you still hadn’t come home!!”
“It’s your brain that’s too much!!” Aika shouted at the mangled pile of bedframe and fabric.
And speaking of waiting, Aika had dutifully waited for me at the café too, since I had promised to explain … but right now, exhausted from the battle, I had no energy to retort or worry about either of them.
Well, okay. Not the battle. The gym-shorts turtle-monster died instantly. It was escaping the mobbing by hundreds of high-school girls that had been the real struggle.
“This is super bad … it was like every single one of those girls had their cell phones out…”
Aika snorted. “Imagine a guy dreading creep-shots going viral. That’s new.”
My anxious mental gears whined harder. “U-Uuuah … Twirl, what should I do from now on? That declaration of war footage was broadcast all across Japan!”
Twirl was working on wriggling out from under the canopy wreckage. It was frightening, really; despite this stunning beauty wearing only a thin negligee, I couldn’t manage the slightest excitement.
“It was simultaneously broadcast to essentially the entire globe. Every country must be in a small uproar right now.”
“…sure, a small uproar, I guess…”
Aika raised a finger. “They were speaking Japanese, of course. So it’s contained.”
“Oh, no. It just sounds like Japanese to us since that’s the language we use. Spiritual beings speak in concepts, it doesn’t travel through eardrums—so it resonates directly in your head. Everyone on Earth would have understood.”
I blinked, and turned on the TV, only to find hundreds of speculative reports running on nearly every news channel.
“Oh.”
Nobody seemed to be on red alert yet, but … even NASA was issuing statements.
Had they misidentified them as aliens?
Twirl laughed sheepishly. “Ah, I suppose it is turning into a major incident.”
I collapsed and buried my head in my wrecked bed.
“Don’t worry! Yesterday, the damage was only so severe because my preparations were inadequate. From now on, we can detect them the moment they appear.”
Nervous anxiety flooded my face as I recalled the scene. Noticing it, Twirl continued in an even brighter voice.
“The basic order is detect them, then defeat them immediately. If we thoroughly minimize damage, peoples’ interest will fade naturally over time, and it won’t become a catastrophe!”
“…but after such a ridiculous declaration of war, why would the police and military sit quietly?”
“As I explained yesterday, even if they mobilized, none of their implements would do anything to Elemerians. Only a spiritual weapon like Tailgear can—”
“How am I supposed to fight a global invasion??”
At some point, the terror had penetrated my every fiber. My desire to protect hadn’t changed, but … how could you save the whole planet alone?
Why wouldn’t they just dump all their soldiers at once, into every city on Earth? If they brought an army from another world, they’d have so many options at any moment…
“That’s what the underground secret base is for. Let’s go see it later! The Spatial Leap Catapult is already operational, so you can be teleported to anywhere on Earth without a moment’s hesitation!”
I clutched my pillow harder. In any other world, I’d have sparkling eyes and drool on my cheek. She may be trying to cheer me up, but—
“Cowgirl shot!”
With a terrifying battle cry, Twirl landed on my stomach and straddled me face-to-face.
“TW-TWIRL??”
“Cheer up, Souji-sama. In various ways.”
Twirl smiled seductively, her hand running up my thigh from behind like a spider—
“What the HELL ARE YOU DOING?!”
My chest abruptly became lighter as Twirl lifted off, only to be suplexed onto the floor.
“MAGHEWAPPHA!!”
A sudden lightness of breath brought hacking laughter to my chest. I couldn’t control myself in front of these idiots.
Worrying wasn’t going to get me anywhere. All I could do is trust in Twirl, trust my affinity, and fight until I dropped.
My battle had only just begun—
“S-Souji … sama … that’s a f-final episode flaaag…”
Hm. I thought I heard the voice of a girl about to end her final episode.
